How can you break up with someone and still love them?

I just got dumped. I have been the dumpee before. When you break up you break up because you want out. You have fallen out of love or you just can't stand the person.





My ex dumped me a week ago. It was pretty devestating and I figured he was out having fun screwing around but all his friends are telling me that he cries. When i talk to him he cries. He keeps telling me he's hurting also. I don't get it.





Why would you put yourself through so much pain? Don't yo ubreak up with someone because you want out? So why is he crying. It makes me even more confused and it makes it even harder to move on because it gives me hope.





Some background information on the reason WHY we broke up. He leaves for Argentina in October for a year. I told him I'd wait for him. But then he said that he ';knows himself'; and doesn't know if he wants to stay committed after he leaves. So I said fine well we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Its only July.





But then he dumped me. And all his friends say its because of Argentina but what he said is that he thinks we're incompatible. And he desn't love me like I love him so it's ';not fair to me.';





Sounds like a lame excuse. So why is he crying and so tore up about it? His friends tell me he can't get out of bed and function and has been depressed. Then why break up with me in the fist place if he's going to be that miserable? Makes no sense whatsoever.





What do you people out there thinkHow can you break up with someone and still love them?
Re: ';What do you people out there think?'; THINK? Hmmmm, this is less about thinking and more about feeling. It sounds as though he really DOES enjoy you. However, he also feels really guilty about going to Argentina knowing that he ';knows himself'; and doesn't know if he wants to stay committed. So what's the solution? (analytical THINKING, here) The solution is to break up NOW. Trouble is, as I said, this has more to do w/ feelings than thinking. So, here he is, applying the thinking thing to a feeling problem.





One more idea is that if he breaks up now, then he will have already gone though all the hurt by the time Argentina rolls around. So then, he will be free %26amp; clear to GO and to just BE there, w/o always worrying about YOU back home.





Re: ';Makes no sense whatsoever.'; So does that make a LITTLE better sense? I hope so.





Bon fortune %26amp; enjoy the journey with all it has to offer. ';We'; can't experience the joy w/o being able to compare it with the pain.