How to break up with someone you love?

We have been together for 5 1/2 years and are completely head over heels in love. Yea, you're probably wondering ';why break up then?'; Well, because the relationship is doomed and will not work out. Should I stick around for the fall or get it over with now? I am 24, graduated from college, and ready to move on with my life and want him to be in my future more than anything in the world. He however works dead end job to dead end job and constantly quiting or getting fired. He did take a Pharmacy Technician course and is now studying to become certified but I honestly do not see that happening. He is very unmotivated, lazy, and not ambitious. He has a million and one dreams and goals but has never followed through with any of them. He says he is trying his best but if this is his best then things will never change. I do not think that he will ever change his ways and I have been waiting and waiting and waiting but still see no glimmer of hope. It would be real easy for someone who doesn't know us to say ';well then just move on'; but its not that easy. In a nutshell, we are perfect for each other. This is our only real problem in our relationship. We are committed to each other 100%, we are in love, we have fun together, we have great communication, and know each other better than anyone else. I could not ever imagine being with someone else and I don't ever want to be. People are actually jealous of how great we are together and how great he treats me. He's the definition of a prince charming. I want to be with him and only him. I want this to work, but i just dont see how it can. Please good and serious advice only please. And just an fyi...i have talked about this with him a million times, the topic has been beat into the ground and there is nothing left to talk about because nothing changes.How to break up with someone you love?
I will tell you up front, I know someone who ended up with a guy like yours. At first she thought he was everything and a bag of chips. He had a great job, he had looks and some charm.





But alas! The prince turned into a toad. Right after the vows were taken, he quit his job which paid well, degenerated into unskilled job to job labor pools. Basically the guy lived off his wife.





Meanwhile she was pulling quadruple duty. They had 3 kids together. He sort of, kind of took care of them while she was at work, but you know. After 17 years of marriage she had it with the guy.





She's been divorced 10 years now and the kids are all grown up.





She absolutely positively will not marry any man again.





The moral of the story, please don't get hitched to a loser. And yes, he's a loser.





If he has no motivation, if he can't focus on enriching his skills and intellect; if he has nothing but big empty dreams in his head -- you know you're just going to end up supporting him and lumping him in with the kids. You'll be raising a husband.





Not good.





How do you tell him you want to break up? Easy. ';You have no ambition in life, and I need a man who I can respect. And I just don't respect you. I'm sorry.';How to break up with someone you love?
let me start off by saying i am 100% just like u and it has only been 6 months for me and i am dieing and wishing things will change and he will stick to his goals etc..
Try this:





';This is mah house! You don' like it, get da funk out!';
I didn't read your question but I'm going to venture to answer with ';I'm breaking up with you'; right?
What is it about this ';very unmotivated, lazy, and not ambitious'; guy that makes him the definition of a Prince Charming?


He's a loser (according to your description), but he's perfect for you.


Accept his faults and enjoy his attributes. At least until you change your order of importance regarding same.


God bless.
i guess the Q you have to ask yourself is would you rather a man be successful/rich and be cold towards you or have someone not ridiculously poor but loves you dearly..


if you are not 100% happy and have doubts then you should follow your heart.. just be prepared and do not look back to regret..


the last thing you can try is giving him an amount of time to prove otherwise or it's over for good..
Go by history. Action speak louder than words with him. If his actions are as you say....dead end. You must jump ship now. Don't invest more years into this. You can't change him. He has to change himself. Many women go years thinking I can change him, it will work out but in the end he stays the same.





Once you change the whole scenario and leave I promise you he will make a good change meaning he will complete this Pharmacy Tech Course to ';show you'; and he will try to make good changes but leaving him to do it will make him snap into action.





Good luck
If you really loved him, you would accept him as is, for who he is. As it stands, it sounds like your ';love'; is on the condition that he becomes who you want him to be, do what you want him to do. You never once said how you want him to accomplish his dreams or goals for HIMSELF, and if you truly loved him and supported him, that would be your desire. Take a look at your post...It's ME, ME, ME all the way through. You tell us how he's perfect for you, you're perfect together, and you don't want anyone else, but you're willing to throw it away when millions of people are looking for what you have. He deserves better than that.





EDIT: My answer doesn't change despite your message, and quite frankly your definition of ';helpful'; seems to be as off as your definition of ';love.'; Yes, you have invested a lot in him, but like any investment, it doesn't always pay off the way we want. You either love him, faults and all, or not at all. I can understand you wanting him to contribute, but it seems like for 5 1/2 years you've known he's not going to be the bread-winner, so why the sudden urgency?