Breaking up with someone you love?

I have been with my now fiance, for 2 years. I met him and fell very hard in love with him. But things have been going down hill. I left my hometown of Denver and moved to California for him. I feel like his drinking habits, money habits, video games, and buddies will always come befor I do. I do love him more then anything, but I feel like my life is on Pause, and ';going nowhere fast.'; I want to go back home but I am scared to tell him, he gets angry quickly and snaps out when somethings wrong. I don't know how to do it. I am aware that sometimes you just have to do it but I need advice on how. If someone could please help I would appreciate it.Breaking up with someone you love?
i know this is going to be hard, but you need to really make a list of the pros and cons





does he still make you feel loved?


was it worth u leaving your home town?why?





u might not take the advice if i just said leave him, so i wont say that, but i WILL say, you should live your own life for now





i KNOW its hard to just completely let someone go, so dont.


do things u want to do, but still be with him





be with him, but dont BE WITH HIM. he will see you as being distant in the same home and he will either tell you that he misses you





or he will not care





if he doesnt care, i know it hurts, but u need to leave cuz it will hurt 20 times more later on, i know.





if he does care, let him know you feel neglected. although he knows, explain to him everything you sacrificed for him.





then yall should sort out yall's differences i hope this helpedBreaking up with someone you love?
Ask yourself if you are sure that you want to do this?


Have you told him the above? See if he has a reaction to it, but tell him in a way so that he is calm or make him promise to be calm. If you really need to leave him then just do it.
Well maybe you should just like ignore him for a few days and maybe he will realize that what his doing is wrong it work for my mother it could work for you
I think he's a bruiser..First of all, don't worry%26amp; hurry...If u have some private photos with him,just try to get them first..Because he can use such things for revenge..If u're affraid of him then u can cause him to leave u in one month..(Just try to simple things that he doesn't like%26amp;that doesn't make him so angry.little dissatisfactions will take away him from u ). Change your style(hair,clothes,..) eat a piece of onion,garlic(i know it's hard to do) every evening(don't let him to see%26amp;eat) then try to kiss him..at home wear dirty clothes,creat some more...(but don't do all of them in one day,slowly..)If he asks u,just tell him''we're a good couple now,we spent 2 years together so I trust in u%26amp; I try be natural as if I'm..(or such things)But u now everyone has different personality so change/apply the methods according to his personality
Pack your things and leave when he's gone for the day. Angry...snaps...not a good sign. It's great that you have decided not to marry this fellow. Everything you've stated about his actions screams GET OUT. You and he probably jumped too fast into a deeper commitment and you're both way too young to manage a marriage.





Get your stuff and get out. Go home. He'll figure it out. I usually don't hold with not talking about it but in this situation talking about it is not going to help and you may be harmed.





Call your daddy have him bring a truck while the guy is at work...pack and get out.
Whenever it comes to love, things are difficult to answer. I will try.


Find something common between the two of you - like smthg which brought u together. Even if it means sitting and talking together in a park, going to a movie or skiing together or his sense of humour which is the best when u r out driving. Give him a chance. If it doesnt work, go out with him (like to CO) and dont come back on the return trip. Dont tell him in CA. You should feel safe and secure when u give him the news. He will probably have the time to think about the whole thing on his return flight/drive.


And I guess good guys are hard to find. I am a guy myself. I have my girl whom I cant marry coz of parents who oppose it. I would say you are so lucky that you are atleast together. Its easy to find fault and things u dont like in each other over a period of time. But if I get my love, I would not repent my decision come what may. I would not leave my love for booze or smoke or habits - coz I dont hv any habits of the kind so far.


And gift yourselves some time and space. Go away for some time - on a vacation alone. It might help both of you to think and prioritize. I know these answers are from the head. One shd think of an answer to this from the heart. I would first like to congratulate you for having got your love and can only wish you all the best for your future.
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do





As the old saying goes, “There are two sides to every coin.” What if you are in a dating relationship that is moving too fast or seems to be heading more toward manipulation than friendship? How do you slow things down with minimal hurt to the other person?





Here are some things to remember when you need to break off a dating relationship:





1. Do it personally. It is too easy to break up by writing a note, through a friend, or over the phone. (So I can’t just disappear, either? This is hard!) Go to their house or a neutral location and talk it out.





2. Pray about it before you go. Pray that you do the right things and then pray for the other person in advance.





3. Face the music. Be direct and firm, but not tactful. Don’t put it off if you know it needs to happen.





4. Pick a good time. A big occasion ( such as a prom ) is a bad time to break up. If you need to, do it long before that and go with someone else. Or, if time is short, and you can, go as friends in a group so that it reduces the pressure but you still don’t miss out on the big event.





5. Be honest, but not cruel. If you have cared for that person for some time, then you owe them an explanation for why you are breaking it off. Keep it simple. Don’t run them down. Hopefully it will be a time for both of you to grow.





A lot of people get hurt because the other person is simply too self-absorbed to be courteous in such situations. Simply treating the other person the way you would want to be treated can make it easier for both of you.
Ok, I just read the part where he gets angry quickly andsnaps out when something is wrong. And you do not know what to do.





Here is my best advice, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who verbally abuses you? If he is that way, he will not change.





You have to do what makes you happy, and it sounds like you really want to go back home, and that will make you happy!





It sounds like his friends are being an influence on his drinking, his money, his video games, and it does sound like his buddies will always come before you, if he doesn't change first!





I would sit down and talk with him calmly, and tell him exactly how you feel, and if he just goes off, then well, honey, you know what to do, you belong happy, and I know that you really want to go back home.





Honey, everyone tries to make a new life for themselves and their loved ones and sometimes it just is not ment to be.





He belongs in California with his buddies and his problems, and you belong with your family.





You gave it two years of your life, you need to regain those two years and live your own life!
What it comes down to is do you love yourself because that is who need to love first, then put things in perspective. You already know and it seems like you and him have probably gone over these things that bother you.You need to do what is best for you. In the long run money careers and education play a big part of your future. Get what you want out life before you marry someone who doesn't know what the heck they are doing with their own ! you sound like a smart girl make the right choice for you. Go back up hill honey ....... leave him with his x box or playstation and negative bank account before its to late.....
You just have to tell him. It won't be easy, but it will be better.
That is so sad, I would beat your boyfriend up if I saw him on the street . He is a Horrible MAN ! JUST HORRIBLE !
Well leaving your fiance is really your choice and if you feel like you need to leave him then I think you should do what you feel is best
u betta run u cant live with a man that snaps that quickly just tell him wat u think
do not tell him that you are leaving. leave him a note and just go home, tell him not to follow you or contact you, be firm and serious. gambler and alcoholic are something that almost can't be cured. don't waste your life anymore than you already have with him. good luck.
Since he gets mad fast i would suggest, if you really mean you want to leave him, then just do it. Wait until a night or day when he goes out and just leave. Pack your clothes and go. I mean if he really cared he would see that his lifestyle makes you unhappy and it obviously does not include you. If you can sit him down and talk to him and let him know you are unhappy and how hislife style is making you feel...if he doesn't respond to this your only option is to leave unannounced. There is a saying if you love someone let them go......
wow... talk to him about it calmly and if he spazes out be like ';Woah clam down.'; you know? Does he hit you? If he does u rlly need to leave him. or call the police to help. But anyway, just say that u feel like ur life has been going nowhere and that u do really love him..but u need to do that for yourself. Its just one of those things. Girl, please dont marry someone who snaps quickly. Do it for ur future kids. my unlce is like that ifeel SOO bad for his wife and kids.
If you are that afraid of him, leave immediately. When he is at work, pack your bags, box up your personals, get in your car and boggie on home. It will only get worse.
YOU MUST DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU!!! You really need to be honest with him, if you are scared of him then, you know what you have to do. Besides there is no place like home. Let your family know what is going on they will support you. Good Luck!
In one relationship, the most important component is ';Understanding';. What I can suggest you to do, have a nice talk with your fiance, tell him what you like and dislike. If he been so unreasonable, and you can't stand on it. You have no choice but to leave. If he able to change his life style for you, you should choose to stay.
Talk to him about it if your deeply in love with him. If he knows it really bothers you and if he really loves you, he will change.
Tell him you have decided you're leaving him and going back to Denver. Then do it.
if you don't tell him you will just be stuck in this situation and it won' change .so you just have to tell him how you feel and if he doesn't change then go back home .loving some body shouldn't make you miserable
Communication is the key. But get hime before he starts to drink %26amp; make sure you guys are alone. Listen to each other %26amp; comprimise, but not all his way.





Goodluck
Just let him know whats going on and move back to Denver. I'm so sorry to hear this :(
kick him to he curb sister..but maybe you want to give him another chance I mean there was something there for you to say yes to his proposal.
I would tell him that you love him but some things need to change or improve with the relationship. tell him you dont want to lose him but you might have to go your own way if he doesnt understand where you're coming from. If i know anything about relationships, its that he's taking you for granted and probably doesnt even realize it. (I've done it) Before you know it your packing up to go back home and it will hit him. If that doesnt get through to him I don't know what will.
Pack your things and go back home when he's at work. Give him a call when you get there and tell him how you really feel and that you need some time to think things out.