How do you break-up with someone you're still in love with?

I've been with the same girl for over a year and a half now. She has been my rock and my life. She has shown me so much and helped me raise my 3 year old son, and my son views her as a mother. Back in June she started staying out all night, not calling or telling me where she is. It gradually got worse as the months past and back in early August she packed up her clothes and a few possessions and left. Her only reasoning was that she was bored, and she needed more out of life. She changed her cell phone number and I had no way of contacting her for almost 2 weeks. I decided to pack up the rest of her things and place them in a room in the basement. Out of the blue, she calls me and says how much she misses me and my son. She unexpectedly comes over, and her and my son have a moment as if she never left. I ask her what was going on, and she said, ';I screwed up, one day I want this life, and the next day I don't.'; She said she doesn't know where her head is, and she needs to figure things out. The next day, she shows up and offers to buy my son and I breakfast. We have a great time, until she starts to cry and suddenly leaves. Another few days pass, and she calls me late at night, and starts to have a casual conversation. About an hour later, she's at the door and comes in. She only stays for a little while and leaves again to meet with some friends. That was yesterday, and I don't know what to do.





On one hand, I still love this woman with all my heart, and if she said she wants to come home, I'd take her and never look back. On the other hand, all of this 'come here, come here now go away, go away' is wearing me thin. She will still call me hunnie and baby but than tell me she's been hanging out with a guy she just met. She's denied that they're anything more than friends. I'm just exhausted and need some answers. Should I keep her stuff here, and hope that she figures out what she wants in life? Should I write her a letter explaining how I feel, and hope I can give it to her? Or do I take all of her stuff over to one of her friends house and try to erase her from my memory?





All three choices are very painful, and I do not know which is the right one, I still love her so much and I wish we could be a family again. But, she won't give me a definitive answer if that is what she wants.





Sorry for the wall of text. Thank you in advance.How do you break-up with someone you're still in love with?
It's always hard to see the forest through the trees when you're emotionally involved. So you really need to take a step back and take your emotions out of it. This decision needs to be made without the emotional clutter.





So what do you want for your son? Because that's the most important thing in your life right now. What enrichment is she bringing to his life, and yours for that matter?





It's hard to give you advice as to what to do. If it were me, I'd put my kid's interests in front of my own. He deserves stability and I would venture to say he doesn't need this ';in-again, out-again'; revolving door this woman seems to bring. Perhaps the best bet is to wash your hands of her and let her know that you need to be a dad before everything else and until she straightens out her life and figures out what she wants, it's best she does her thinking away from you and not contact you anymore. Then, YOU can make the decision to be involved if and when she decides she wants both of you in her life. Who knows? In the process of her thinking things through, you may find someone else who can be a more positive influence.





Well, that's my take on it. But do what's right for your kid above all else. After all, you're the role model he's looking up to.





Good luck!