How do you break up with someone who is your first love and have been living together for 10 years?

My gf and are both first love. We have been dating for 10 years now and out of these 10 years we have been living together for 8 years. Recently I felt that I've lost the feelings for her but I still really care for her. We are fine as it is until she suggest that we should get married. I didn't want to hurt her feelings by saying 'No'. I can marry her just to make her happy but if I do that I'll be lying to her and myself. I need help from anyone out there who can tell me how can I tell her my true feelings without hurting hers and that we can still be friends?How do you break up with someone who is your first love and have been living together for 10 years?
Wow, this is a hard one, but yet at the same time easy for me to answer. You see it sounds a lot like me. I was with my ex-fiancee for 8 and 1/2 years. The difference is he was my first love but I wasn't his. He really wanted to marry me, and at one time I really wanted to marry him. But we had a lot of irreconcialble differences. We hung on to each other out of comfort and still loving each other. Finally after 8 and 1/2 years. He was the one who brought it to an end. He had met someone else and even though I knew we weren't meant to be. The way he did this broke my heart!! Breaking up with me still would of been hard, but I knew we weren't meant to be together. But breaking up with me not because of someone else. But still having someone else in the picture killed me. You need to end it now, before it goes any further. You see the longer you're with someone the harder and harder it will get to breakaway. He told me it was harder on him because he was the one that had to do it. And now after several years later I can look back and see what he meant. In a way it's going to be harder on you then her. She won't realize this but it's ultimately the truth. You're going to hurt, not only for ending the relationship, even though you don't want to marry her you still love her even if you're not in love with her. And at the same time you'll inevitably hurt her. But you have to just sit her down and be truthful with her, before you push yourself toward someone else and hurt her even more. So please take the advice from someone's who's been there and done that. Do it now don't wait until tomorrow and the next and the next. Do it now and she will hurt but she will someday be able to look back and say what a decent guy to be honest and faithful. And all he was doing was being true to his heart!! I wish you the best, and like my ex said to me, one very good right thing he said to me before he ended it. Take one day at a time, tell her this and that you will always love her. For this is what he told me and now I can look back and believe this was true. He wasn't in love with me anymore for he couldn't say that, but he told me he'd always love me and this I believe!!! God bless you both!!!!How do you break up with someone who is your first love and have been living together for 10 years?
You've lost that loving feeling...woo that loving feeling..





ummm. All I can say is holy sh*t! You must be feeling so cornered right now.





I understand why you'd consider just staying with her to keep her happy.





I really think you should do something fun like when you were younger and starting out the relationship. Maybe you're just a bit bored. Try seeing if its just routine you're sick of? Do something romantic, break routine. After that if it doesn't work then, i'm not sure.





If you're 100% sure it wont work out and you tell her, its going to crush her (seeing as she wants to marry you) But she'll get over it and move on. I dont know about being friends with her - she may be so hurt she wants nothing to do with you. You have to consider every outcome.
Ok, so I lived with my first love for 7 years, and had to leave. I just would be honest with her. Tell her that you don't feel in love with her; that you care for her but not in the way that you ever want to marry or have a life together. Tell her how difficult it is to tell her, that you don't want to hurt her, but think its only right to tell her so she can move on and find someone that will love her. Convince her she is better off without you, and deserves someone to ';fully'; love her. Be as honest as you can without being ruthless. Expect her to freak out. Tell her there is nothing she can do to make it work, and as hard as it is FOR BOTH OF YOU - that you need to start planning on how to seperate. Don't lie to her anymore, the sooner the better. I am expecting she will freak out because she probably has your kids names picked out. Nevertheless, its something you must do. Be as clear and detailed as possible. Don't just say ';i don't know'; say exactly how you feel like ';I will never marry you, I don't see a future with you, i am not happy, i want out of this relationship.'; She is going to ask thousands of questions, and cry cry cry. Its a given, just try to answer them all as best you can. Good luck, I really can relate to this. My ending my relationship was kind of a shocker to my boyfriend, but as a man he handled it better than I think a woman would just because they are better at communicating their emotions.
Hi. In all fairness, I think you know it's high time to set her free, so she can make a real life for herself...Will she be upset? Likely, yes; it's been 10 years. Is it your fault? Not at all; you just went with the flow. All my best, and do what you must. Good luck.